Miss Mercy Forgiveness

Once upon a time there was this beautiful lady with the name of Ms Mercy Forgiveness. She was very ladylike; when she moved through a place she seemed gliding across the room and her face had soft and round features. She was overall a person with a very pleasant appearance. Wherever she appeared strange things happened.

One day she was invited to a wedding of friend. The parents of the bride did not approve of the husband to be because they felt he was not good enough for their daughter. Ms Mercy Forgiveness arrived at the wedding looking fabulous. She mingled in the crowd and finally made her way to the bride’s parents. She greeted them, chatted to them for a while and excused herself to have some food. Just a few moments later something incredible happened - the parents approached their new son in law and within a few minutes people saw the unexpected, the parents and the son in law where hugging each other with tears in their eyes.

Wherever Ms. Mercy Forgiveness appeared similar things occurred. Another story that people tell each other is about two siblings fighting over the inheritance of their parents and only speaking to each other through lawyers. Ms. Mercy Forgiveness was friends with both of them but didn’t see them for a long time. It happened that she bumped into both of them and invited them for dinner to her house. At the end of the dinner you could hear laughter and joy and people were wondering if those were these the same siblings that had been fighting for years.

These and many more stories took place when Miss Mercy Forgiveness was around. People started to wonder how she did it. When someone asked her, so how do you do this? She just said ‘What do you mean? I just talk to the people and I listen to them. I do nothing else.’

The strange part about knowing Miss Mercy Forgiveness was that people would not necessarily miss her. When people had arguments and fights they were convinced that their point of view was right. Miss Mercy Forgiveness was not asked for. People only appreciated her after she spoke to them and they actually managed to sort out their arguments. As she really liked the people in the little town she lived in she made a point of visiting many of them and listening to their stories.

Unfortunately, not everyone was able to accept her just for who she was. There was a group of people that would make her life difficult. They would say nasty things whenever she appeared or they would just ignore her. They would laugh about her and say ugly things. She never defended herself. She only quietly disappeared and participated lesser and lesser in the social life of the town. This meant that many conflicts, especially of the ugly big ones, remained unresolved. It reached the point when she would only go out and speak to people if she had been invited......Difficult times lay ahead of this town.

So how does this story end? I don’t know. But it seems worthwhile to invite Miss Mercy Forgiveness more often again.

When men and women are lost in translation

Recently, I caught myself in a real women-men misunderstanding. I noticed once again, men and women do truly speak two different languages. The situations was as follows: I stated three options for him to chose from. He did - and he chose the wrong option. Deeply upset and hurt I made catty comments.He looked at me with a big question mark in his face.

In that moment I did not understand how he could have chosen that one wrong option. The one option which I absolutely disliked. Upset and aggrieved I failed to see why we had this misunderstanding.

Why was it so difficult for him to know what I really wanted? Why was he not able to know what the right option was? Does he not know me well enough?

These are just some of the thoughts that went through my mind. Now, a few days later I can actually smile about it. Situations like this make it quite obvious why men often think that women are dam complicated. We say something but mean something else. We give three options but we only want them to chose THE one option. I am sure all of you can name an example when something similar has happened to you. And even the most academic and elaborated person will find herself in situations like this.

Expectations are set high in statements we make. It sets him up for failure. One way to work on it is to try avoiding statements loaded with expectations. I often find it difficult to say what I really mean and want as a lot of information, emotions and thought mixes up in my head. When I put out three options, it is pretty clear to me why only THE one option is the right one. Instead of giving options saying it as it is in the literal meaning of the words/phrase will help a lot to improve the 'inter-species-communication' between men and women.