Broaden your horizon

Stepping out of my ‘usual’ space for a day provides new insights and ideas - not only for my work but also for me; even though I went only to a different city. It reminds me how stepping out of ones comfort zone and own space (physical and mental) broadens your horizon. Travelling, studying and working abroad have often exposed me to more things than I was looking for.

For example, expecting to learn the language of the country I am visiting is an expected outcome. However, to learn so much more about my own language and understand how translating it directly into a foreign language can in other cultural contexts appear rude and very offensive, was an interesting discovery.

Experiencing new cultures, countries and people the most inspiring is to learn something about one self. The engagement with other people and cultures made me re-think and even question my own cultural core assumptions and beliefs. Meeting the other has provoked more change ‘within’ than I ever expected.

It does not mean that going elsewhere will have the effect of learning and discovery. I have also met people who lived abroad and successfully blocked out all new things. They actually put in a lot of effort to remain the ‘same’ by downgrading all that is ‘different’ with the sentence ‘where I come from we do it this or the other way, which is much better than...’

It is a difficult exercise to explain to others the possibilities that open up when broadening your horizon. I would like to encourage you to try it out and to never get tired of exploring new things. It keeps you fresh, humble and excited about life.

Helping others

I’m sure all of you have experienced situations when a good friend or close family member had to go through difficult situations resulting in over-indulgence of alcohol, drugs or any other addictive/destructive behaviour. My natural inclination is to want to help. I want to do the right thing to make sure the person can see how damaging the behaviour is and show them that there are many other options. I think specially women have the strong sense of wanting to assist - many times without success. We tend to help in wrong ways by providing ‘quick-fix’ aids because those make us feel as we are doing something concrete. Even though the efforts are appreciated and in some cases the people acknowledge their difficulties, the success rate remains low.
Only if the person shows true willingness to change something will actually really happen. It needs to come from deep within, it needs a lot of courage and strength. Drug addiction is a good example. Any attempts to assist with getting people of it, pay them a stay at the most expensive clinics etc. only bears positive results if the willingness to change comes from them.
As an outsider the biggest challenge is to accept when a person doesn’t want to get help and doesn’t want to do anything him-/herself. I find this the most painful experience of love – to let go; to let someone fall. I guess parents experience it from the first step they have to leave their child on their own and let it literally fall. I feel like wanting to ‘save’ the other person so badly that I might become preachy because I wish so strongly to do something about the situation -mostly without effect.
It doesn’t mean that there is nothing we can do. Offering help and affirming repeatedly and showing that we are available whenever needed makes sure that a door remains open – when many others have closed. However, to let go is true love. We cannot save someone else if he or she is not involved.
Only the scars experienced by oneself are the ones that will remind us how painful the path to healing was. We cannot go through the experience for others or take the pain away. But we can certainly assist each other to learn how to let go and be there for each other when needed.