Five things I discovered on my sabbatical

My workplace afforded me the opportunity to take six weeks of a sabbatical as a thank you for five years of service. The break was a wonderful experience and I appreciated the opportunity. I travelled a bit (see my previous post). I took the time just to be, to socialise with people and to write. It was great. The time is over and I would like to share five lessons I am taking away from this period:

1. The power of a smile: Smiling is such a powerful tool, not only for your well-being but everyone around you. I want to continue smiling as much as I can. When you smile, you can turn your seemingly grey surroundings into a colourful painting with people smiling back at you.
2. Being at peace with myself – just be: Being comfortable to be alone and enjoying it; being happy with who and where I am. It feels like carrying sunshine inside yourself. I have discovered a method for myself to put me into this mind-set. The first step is to find a spot to sit quietly if possible in the sun. Then, I try and be grateful spending at least five minutes thinking about all the things I am thankful for. After that, I think back to a situation when I was happy and laughed. I do that filled with thankfulness that I was able to live that moment. And lastly, I reflect on compliments I received recently. These small steps help me to be at peace.
3. Hosting people: I organised a few dinners at my place mostly with one or very few people. It was wonderful and I thoroughly enjoyed having people at my house. It reminded me of my mom’s house where people were always welcome. In my daily life over the past years I often got sucked into the attitude of feeling stressed and thinking that having people over is too much work. It is not. The pleasure of having people over outweighs the little bit of work (also see point 4).
4. Working hard and being disciplined: It seems odd to add this to a list after six weeks of a break. It is also odd because nowadays most self-help advice is about relaxing and switching off.  I, of course, did not work during my sabbatical but I did do quite a lot of manual labour during this period. To be honest, I had become quite lazy and rather used services available to do chores like cleaning, maintenance and ironing. Getting things done yourself brings satisfaction. I am not only highly motivated to go back to my official job but to also start doing some freelance work and to continue doing more work myself – all with a smile. I don’t want to become a workaholic or overdo things but I realised I have time at hand, much more than most people. I appreciate and treasure this luxury but I want to live a bit by the slogan ‘work is love made visible’. 
5. Writing and reading – improving a skill: Since I was a teenager, I liked writing mostly for pleasure, processing of difficult life events and sharing. But I also always had to write a lot for my studies or work. Moving to another country and switching language made writing more difficult and I became insecure about writing (besides writing for pleasure like on this blog). The interesting experience of the past weeks was to a) just write and b) spend time exploring my writing. I left my fear and insecurities behind and just wrote. I silenced the limiting voice in my head that would normally tell me that my English is not good enough and that I don’t have the vocabulary neither skill to write. In addition, I worked with a writing coach/editor to help me understand my writing and learn a few aids about how to analyse and edit my text after I have written it. It is of course just the beginning of a journey but I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was about immersing myself into doing something with dedication and discipline. It was great to have the extra time to focus and without this long break, I would have probably never gotten to do it. 

Travelling solo

I just returned from a holiday travelling solo. It was an awesome experience to travel on my own without a partner or friends. Besides discovering more of the beauty of the African continent, embarking on this trip alone was a great adventure.

For the larger part of my trip, I had booked a tour on an overland truck joining a group of 17 people aged 18 to 77. I knew no one in the group. It was a little scary at first. The rest of the time I spent on my own. The trip exceeded my expectation in every  possible way.

The best thing on this trip was to just be me. No one knows you, how you 'normally' are, knows your preferences, baggage, history or moods. They know absolutely nothing about you and have to take you at face value. Every human encounter is new. I entered this trip leaving my insecurities and fears at home living every day to the fullest. It had an exhilarating effect to see how people perceived me and how easily they opened up. I rediscovered things about myself, my strength, my inner beauty and calmness. I had time and space to listen to my thoughts. There were no expectations. I could decide every moment what I wanted to do and what not. I did not have to please anyone, neither did I have to worry.

The power of a smile and laughter was another rediscovery for me. Smiling does not only make yourself happy, but it has an amazing effect on your environment. I had the privilege to wake up with a smile and go to bed with one on my face.

The time without the group was also interesting. There were moments when I wished I could have shared some thoughts, observations or chatted with someone. I have to admit that there was a little bit of chatting and social media interaction during those moments. But nevertheless, the time alone allowed my mind to become still. It was almost as if my mind was lying in a hammock and after swinging forth and back in silence for hours/days, it became calm and relaxed. New impressions would come and go, but my mind was just quiet. It was very different from my day to day life when 100 thoughts wonder through my head at the same time, when I have to care, think, plan, function and remember.

It was an experience - nothing one can have all the time. Meeting new people and spending ten days of vacation together offers the opportunity to only see the good and fun side of people. There is no need for depth, pain, hurt and the day-to-day struggles we face. All interactions are by choice. I do think it is a healing experience to float in this bubble of happiness and joy for a short while. I am taking a lot with from the past weeks. I will try and spend more time listening to myself and allowing myself just to be; to meet new people with an open mind; to smile more and to truly trust in the power that lies within me.

I'm deeply thankful for this experience.

I'm walking on the beach

alone
surrounded by the sound of the ocean
only my footsteps in the sand
peaceful beauty
rejuvenating the soul
perfection of nature
quiet

psssssst

(2009, poem written after my last trip on the continent)

Africa – Afrique
Dressed beautifully in bright, natural colours 
Diamonds and gold are your earthly jewellery;
Your people are your wealth.
Pearls and oyster shells of the sea are woven into your colourful dress.

Africa – Afrique
Your body shaped like a gazelle - strength of a lion - endurance of an elephant and speed of an eagle. Your skin shimmers in multiple tans. Your nature unifies serenity and wildness - cat and lioness.

Africa – Afrique
is your most common name but in hundreds of languages they sing your praises and lullabies. Wisdom is your birth name.

Africa – Afrique
When I look into your eyes - tears slide down your bronzed cheeks.
Your body scared – divided – cut in pieces.
Your open mouth a silent scream
Red marks – blood, rape, death all over you.

Africa – Afrique - rise - Africa – Afrique