Online dating

This is a new thing I got into. I am still on leave and have lately heard some of the ‘success’ stories of people who met others through the internet. Me being such an internet addict anyway, thought to myself – why not? It’s not the first time I thought about it. I think I have created a profile a couple of months back but that was more out of desperation to find someone, now it’s more about exploring a new way of dating.

After a week of getting into it, I think I have gotten a fairly good understanding for myself how it works and what are the limitations but also the advantages. The one awkward thing is that you are almost online shopping for a man. You create your profile and share all these things about yourself mostly by ticking of categories set up by the dating site. Then you do the same for your ‘match’ also again through ticking of categories about things you want the person to have or be like. This then also includes a rating, how important each criteria is to you.

First, I created the profile and ticked all the boxes. Then, I looked out for possible ‘matches’ and that works through the database which spits out who is a ‘match’ for you from a 100% match down to any percentage you can imagine.

I guess everyone does browse through some photos, reads profiles of others and explores how to contact others. I have to say, some of them are hilarious (without being judgmental). It’s really fun to see what people put out there and the courage some people have. I was surprised how many people like just write up a couple of lines basically saying, if you interested, let’s get talking. Most people don’t have the illusion that you will really meet Mrs. or Mr. Right on the site but that it’s just another way of meeting people.

I had one date so far...not spectacular, but ok, however, there won’t be a second one. I will keep you posted on further developments, but I can only encourage, try it out and don’t be scared, most people are actually as normal or as crazy as you and I.

Young, single, professional female above 28 is looking for…?

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Back in the world of ‘single-hood’, I started asking myself, why does it seem so difficult to find Mr. Right for some and for others not? What are we looking for and what is on offer?

It is one of the trickiest questions where and how to find the right match. Those once who have found their significant other will usually share their wisdom such as ‘Mr. Right is out there, just keep on looking’ or something like ‘Just try NOT to look out for someone and you will see he will come’; ‘when you less expect it, you will find him’ or ‘you still young, you will find someone easily’ etc. etc.

Single ladies normally come together in sympathy for each other with phrases like: ‘xyz settled down just because she was desperate, I am happy that I am still waiting’ or ‘being single is the greatest thing in life, you can enjoy and be totally independent. I don’t have to compromise for nothing’

I think in all of it lies some truth but also some ways of consoling single women who are desperate.

Does desperation itself lead to making wrong choices? Do we really settle for less and are we therefore less successful maintaining a relationship? How can one keep up the morale, the willingness to take the risk of opening up and falling in love, and not move between the extremes of being an outgoing happy single and depressed, de-motivated single?

I think the most important thing is a balanced circle of friends that keep you sane,- singles and couples. Using the advantages of single-hood to be able to do many things, travel, explore, be outgoing, but also rely on what you have. I think in the fewest cases it has something to do with anyone’s personality rather then with the environment. I believe we are all beautiful and powerful beings and our nature will allow us to find Mr. Right. On those days when you loosing hope, do not hang out alone, find your friends, do something fun and be reminded that you are the most gorgeous person in your life, the main actor of your 'life-movie'.