I went to watch 3D version of Alice in Wonderland. I wish that all women would remain and be a bit like Alice. Pursue your dreams, nurture the child in you and enjoy all colours and shapes that life has to offer. Let your self fall into a rabbit hole from time to time and just give yourself space to be!!
I have spent many hours of my life discussing a very interesting topic – men. I have heard complaints and praises about guys; I have listened to the good guy – bad guy stories, I have had plenty of discussions about the difference between men and women and their different needs; I debated if women are discriminated or discriminate themselves; These discussions took place in many parts of the world among women of different cultures.
I came to the conclusion that there are many differences between men and women, but I am still unable to define it clearly (besides the biological). I don’t like it that this topic often turns into an arrogant talk about the ‘bad sides’ of guys and the superiority of the female race (I know that this topic has been discussed differently in different cultures and countries, age and income groups.) However, from my life perspective I would like to comment on this topic without offending anyone of different believe or background.
I really would like to understand men better and that brought me to the topic ‘What is the modern man all about?’
I think there are plenty of forums where women’s needs, feelings and thoughts are discussed, debated and exchanged but (at least in my life) fora improving the understanding of each other - among men and women- are rare.
We know about the challenges working women face, how difficult it is to be a single mom, what it means to be a women in a men’s world, how to embrace being a women. There a many advisory websites, blogs, books and groups that support women how to overcome their challenges. It is great and I hope that there is something for everyone in it.
But what do men do? I had a couple of male friends who find it really challenging to find their role in the modern world, the role in current relationships and in the epoch of the empowerment of women. In addition to those challenges, I met plenty of guys in their 30s ending relationships stating ‘I first have to find myself’, ‘I have to figure out who I am and what I want in life’ or ‘I am not ready for a relationship yet’
I initially got angry and said to myself ‘if you haven’t figured it out yet, it is about time’ and ‘I don’t believe you have to be a ‘ready’ and a perfect person before you can live your life with someone'.
I came to the conclusion that it might have to do with the ‘modern times’ or the 21st century that does not seem to cater for men issues. Yes, there is plenty of information out there about cars, the latest electronic gadgets or sexy models but I do believe that most men have much more needs then the superficial themes that is offered for them….
This is a plea to men to assist men, to talk about the important and things in life…from men to men. I believe if more of those talks start to happen, it will help the female world a great deal to understand and learn what men are about. I think, then, gender forums can start to exchange what males and females can learn form each other, and to finally be able to communicate more effectively.
Back in the world of ‘single-hood’, I started asking myself, why does it seem so difficult to find Mr. Right for some and for others not? What are we looking for and what is on offer?
It is one of the trickiest questions where and how to find the right match. Those once who have found their significant other will usually share their wisdom such as ‘Mr. Right is out there, just keep on looking’ or something like ‘Just try NOT to look out for someone and you will see he will come’; ‘when you less expect it, you will find him’ or ‘you still young, you will find someone easily’ etc. etc.
Single ladies normally come together in sympathy for each other with phrases like: ‘xyz settled down just because she was desperate, I am happy that I am still waiting’ or ‘being single is the greatest thing in life, you can enjoy and be totally independent. I don’t have to compromise for nothing’
I think in all of it lies some truth but also some ways of consoling single women who are desperate.
Does desperation itself lead to making wrong choices? Do we really settle for less and are we therefore less successful maintaining a relationship? How can one keep up the morale, the willingness to take the risk of opening up and falling in love, and not move between the extremes of being an outgoing happy single and depressed, de-motivated single?
I think the most important thing is a balanced circle of friends that keep you sane,- singles and couples. Using the advantages of single-hood to be able to do many things, travel, explore, be outgoing, but also rely on what you have. I think in the fewest cases it has something to do with anyone’s personality rather then with the environment. I believe we are all beautiful and powerful beings and our nature will allow us to find Mr. Right. On those days when you loosing hope, do not hang out alone, find your friends, do something fun and be reminded that you are the most gorgeous person in your life, the main actor of your 'life-movie'.
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