I often wonder why we tend to fall
back into bad habits, make the same mistakes over and why life often feels like
repeating itself. My theory is that for real change to happen one has to go
through a caterpillar-butterfly process.
When I went through painful
experiences, I assumed that I would have learnt a lesson and I would be able to
avoid repeating the same mistakes. I often assumed that the pain occurred
and at the same time the hunger for change would be enough of a catalyst for
the same things not to re-occur. I was wrong. I tried to look
at the cases where I feel a ‘true transformation process’ has taken place and I
came up with my caterpillar-butterfly theory. So there is the pain/the
experience, followed by a moment of reflection and introversion. Once that phase is over, shed the old skin, free
yourself and emerge beautifully transformed.
The sad part about this theory is
that even when I thought I had become a butterfly, I often found out
that I was still only a caterpillar. I basically got stuck between the safe
walls of my cocoon. So why is it so difficult to go through truly transformative
processes? The difficult part of real change is that it does not only mean regretting
the mistake or showing good will to get rid of a habit, but to actually go into
an in-depth inquiry about oneself. And then, it is about stepping out of the
comfort zone and to accept the change. All of this sounds so obvious and
simple...but I promise you, it is not.
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