Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Live life guilt free

I know I have made this point a couple of times on this blog, but the other night I received a little bit of a prep talk from my housemate and I thought I should share it with you.
Most of us spend a lot of time trying to be the best we can. We try to eat and live healthy, have a fantastic relationship, be informed, be a super employee/manager and some of us also super mothers. We think about what is best for us and the people around us and we worry if we are doing the right things.
It can at times be very confusing to know what is right or wrong, what is healthy, what is appropriate for the kids, etc.
I don't want to discourage you to keep yourself informed and continue to be on top of things, however, I do think it is also important to sometimes just take a breather and to just be. And I think if you overall a person that is conscious about life, it is also ok to let go, to allow yourself the portion of fries, the ice cream, a lazy Sunday of doing nothing. Throw your guilt over board and just be. If you are in touch with yourself you won't do anything that really harms you in any ways but it will allow you to just BE.
You are a beautiful person just as you are -without applying any rules, regulations and most importantly without feeling guilty.
Embrace your beautiful self.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Savour your day

I am sure all of you know those days when everything goes wrong. You wake up and the clothes you put on have a stain, you spill your coffee, you forget your office keys, there is an accident on your route to work and you arrive late, you forget to save your document that you are working on and your PC crashes....and the day just becomes a series of dramatic events. You feel like the whole world is against you and you wish you could just hide in your bed under your duvet.

But do you also remember the days when everything goes right? I recently had two of those and it was amazing how everything just worked out. It took me by surprised. These were days with a lot of potential for things to go wrong with tight timelines, many different appointments and things to do.
I felt truly thankful when all went right. I realised that actually the majority of days are days when most things go ‘right’ but we don’t register those. It is actually nothing extraordinary when things go smooth. In many instances we lack appreciation. After this experience I noticed many more of these moments. It made me walk through my days more appreciative. Savour your days and moments when everything turns out to well.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Miss Mercy Forgiveness

Once upon a time there was this beautiful lady with the name of Ms Mercy Forgiveness. She was very ladylike; when she moved through a place she seemed gliding across the room and her face had soft and round features. She was overall a person with a very pleasant appearance. Wherever she appeared strange things happened.
One day she was invited to a wedding of friend. The parents of the bride did not approve of the husband to be because they felt he was not good enough for their daughter. Ms Mercy Forgiveness arrived at the wedding looking fabulous. She mingled in the crowd and finally made her way to the bride’s parents. She greeted them, chatted to them for a while and excused herself to have some food. Just a few moments later something incredible happened - the parents approached their new son in law and within a few minutes people saw the unexpected, the parents and the son in law where hugging each other with tears in their eyes.
Wherever Ms. Mercy Forgiveness appeared similar things occurred. Another story that people tell each other is about two siblings fighting over the inheritance of their parents and only speaking to each other through lawyers. Ms. Mercy Forgiveness was friends with both of them but didn’t see them for a long time. It happened that she bumped into both of them and invited them for dinner to her house. At the end of the dinner you could hear laughter and joy and people were wondering if those were these the same siblings that had been fighting for years.
These and many more stories took place when Miss Mercy Forgiveness was around. People started to wonder how she did it. When someone asked her, so how do you do this? She just said ‘What do you mean? I just talk to the people and I listen to them. I do nothing else.’
The strange part about knowing Miss Mercy Forgiveness was that people would not necessarily miss her. When people had arguments and fights they were convinced that their point of view was right. Miss Mercy Forgiveness was not asked for. People only appreciated her after she spoke to them and they actually managed to sort out their arguments. As she really liked the people in the little town she lived in she made a point of visiting many of them and listening to their stories.
Unfortunately, not everyone was able to accept her just for who she was. There was a group of people that would make her life difficult. They would say nasty things whenever she appeared or they would just ignore her. They would laugh about her and say ugly things. She never defended herself. She only quietly disappeared and participated lesser and lesser in the social life of the town. This meant that many conflicts, especially of the ugly big ones, remained unresolved. It reached the point when she would only go out and speak to people if she had been invited......Difficult times lay ahead of this town.

So how does this story end? I don’t know. But it seems worthwhile to invite Miss Mercy Forgiveness more often again.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

When men and women are lost in translation

Recently, I caught myself in a real women-men misunderstanding. I noticed once again, men and women do truly speak two different languages. The situations was as follows: I stated three options for him to chose from. He did - and he chose the wrong option. Deeply upset and hurt I made catty comments.He looked at me with a big question mark in his face.

In that moment I did not understand how he could have chosen that one wrong option. The one option which I absolutely disliked. Upset and aggrieved I failed to see why we had this misunderstanding.
Why was it so difficult for him to know what I really wanted? Why was he not able to know what the right option was? Does he not know me well enough?

These are just some of the thoughts that went through my mind. Now, a few days later I can actually smile about it. Situations like this make it quite obvious why men often think that women are dam complicated. We say something but mean something else. We give three options but we only want them to chose THE one option. I am sure all of you can name an example when something similar has happened to you. And even the most academic and elaborated person will find herself in situations like this.

Expectations are set high in statements we make. It sets him up for failure. One way to work on it is to try avoiding statements loaded with expectations. I often find it difficult to say what I really mean and want as a lot of information, emotions and thought mixes up in my head. When I put out three options, it is pretty clear to me why only THE one option is the right one. Instead of giving options saying it as it is in the literal meaning of the words/phrase will help a lot to improve the 'inter-species-communication' between men and women.

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