Tuesday, April 3, 2012

When men and women are lost in translation

Recently, I caught myself in a real women-men misunderstanding. I noticed once again, men and women do truly speak two different languages. The situations was as follows: I stated three options for him to chose from. He did - and he chose the wrong option. Deeply upset and hurt I made catty comments.He looked at me with a big question mark in his face.

In that moment I did not understand how he could have chosen that one wrong option. The one option which I absolutely disliked. Upset and aggrieved I failed to see why we had this misunderstanding.
Why was it so difficult for him to know what I really wanted? Why was he not able to know what the right option was? Does he not know me well enough?

These are just some of the thoughts that went through my mind. Now, a few days later I can actually smile about it. Situations like this make it quite obvious why men often think that women are dam complicated. We say something but mean something else. We give three options but we only want them to chose THE one option. I am sure all of you can name an example when something similar has happened to you. And even the most academic and elaborated person will find herself in situations like this.

Expectations are set high in statements we make. It sets him up for failure. One way to work on it is to try avoiding statements loaded with expectations. I often find it difficult to say what I really mean and want as a lot of information, emotions and thought mixes up in my head. When I put out three options, it is pretty clear to me why only THE one option is the right one. Instead of giving options saying it as it is in the literal meaning of the words/phrase will help a lot to improve the 'inter-species-communication' between men and women.

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