Friday, April 22, 2011

Relationship-life-balance

Since I have moved from singledom to coupledom, I am trying to figure out this new world of ‘two’.

During my December holiday I read the book ‘Good man hunting’. From the book I got the lesson that being single is a lifestyle as well as being in a relationship. Both lifestyles have their disadvantages and advantages. Constantly comparing the one to the other becomes tedious but instead embracing each lifestyle is much more enjoyable....
Anyway, that being said it’s time for me to embrace this thing called ‘relationship’.  The first thing a couple of weeks into the relationship is something I would call ‘relationship-life-balance’. How does one manage to add this new item 'relationship' to ones already fully packed diary? I always found it an art to ensure I have a ‘balanced’ lifestyle referring to it more in the context of work-life-balance. The ideal non-work time in my mind looks like a balance between a gym routine, eating health food, having daily quiet time, at least once a week me-time, read the news daily, socialise regularly with friends, spend time with family, sleep minimum 7 hours, blog (;-) ) and either read a good book or some academic articles.
Now having entered into a relationship there is this great person in my life who I want to actually spend 24/7 with. The first couple of weeks I just threw all or most of the above over board. I figured it is fine when newly in love – everyone will forgive one, even I myself. But after a while people are less tolerant and my inner me also shouts for its routine. What now?

I didn’t even go down the road to ‘manage it all’ – too much work, too stressful. If you google the topic you will find loads of articles, links, life coaches to assist, but who has the time to go through them? I asked myself how do people who in addition have kids manage all of this? Am I being unreasonable?
photo posted by graurcodrin
I have decided to not worry about it too much. At least for the first time, I feel totally comfortable in a relationship to take my me-time, to do my things and don't have the feeling that I am missing out (because he will still be there when I'm back). I am also not trying to be 'super-woman' and manage it 'all with a smile' and getting totally exhausted. 
We talk about it, we do some of the daily routine things together....and the rest....we figure out day by day....

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